I want to talk to you guys today about abundance and about having a life in a lifestyle where you desire more than enough and you are okay with that. And you are proud of that and you accept that there is nothing wrong with it. More than enough is going to look different for everyone. It might be having an abundance of money and more than enough for another person might be having an abundance of time freedom to be able to do things that they want to do. More than enough for every person is gonna look different.
I want you to think about this in your terms. What more than enough looks like for you specifically. At the end of the day the main thing I want you to take away from this is knowing that your more than enough is okay. And that just because society has made us believe that more and abundance is wrong and bad and that if we have any extra we should want to give it away or we should feel bad about it. That there’s something bad within us if we want extraordinary and we’re not okay with accepting average and ordinary in the middle ground. We want to be above and beyond and that makes us bad. It makes us greedy. It makes us wrong. And that’s not the vibe. That’s not the vibe or we’re not living that way anymore.
So in this mom group that I’m in, a mom posted today, and basically was saying that she was looking for a night nurse to come help with her baby overnight, so she could sleep because she works. And she was saying that she was having a hard time finding someone basically asking if anyone knew how to find a night nurse or any ideas. I went to the comments, and there were just tonnes of comments, attacking this poor mama of a newborn. Basically going in on her saying things like, “that’s what being a mom is about.” “Welcome to motherhood.” “What do you expect?” “I can’t believe you wouldn’t get up with your baby. That’s a part of being a mom.”
Just basically making her feel bad for wanting to have a night nurse and I’m just like, people, people. It does not have to be that way. Why are we making things harder than they have to be? On purpose? If she has the financial means to be able to afford to have someone come rock her baby back to sleep and so this mama can get some actual rest and sleep, which I wish I would have done in those first few months with both my girls but especially with Roxy. I wish I would have done that.
These moms are going in on this poor mama and making her feel like crap for wanting help. For wanting someone to come watch her baby at nighttime so she can wake up in the morning feel refreshed and revived and be able to operate and function like a regular normal human being during the day, which is going to one make her a better mom during the day when it really matters. And probably make her better at everything else she’s going to do during the day.
This mom was doing something that she felt was valuable for her. And yes, is it a luxury because most people don’t have the ability to be able to get a night nurse or afford that right? So it’s a luxury, yes, but like that doesn’t make it wrong. So immediately when I read it I was going to the comments to be like “yes girl like I don’t want any suggestions. I don’t have any tips but more power to you for wanting to get help and use your resources to be able to get extra help in so you can show up as your best self.”
I just think that that is bougie level confidence. And I think more of us need to have bougie level confidence. We need to have the confidence to be able to be bougie, proudly. Growing up I used to hear from my friends that I was bougie and I used to hear it in a negative light. And bougie was like this thing that made you wrong. If you were bougie then shame on you. You should live this humble life and you don’t need all the extra like be minimalistic and blah blah. You know, just all the things about how anything outside of standard is too much, basically.
If you want more than enough, that’s bad. That’s wrong. You should not want more than enough. You should want just enough. You shouldn’t want a night nurse. You should like get up with your own baby during the night and during the day. 24/7. You shouldn’t want anything extra. You should just want the bare minimum. Right? You should only want this standard, the status quo. And that to me is just like why? Why who came up with that? How did that become our norm? How did expecting just the bare minimum and anything above that is bad, wrong, selfish, and too much? How did that start?
I want to eliminate that. I want to squash this idea that wanting to have more than enough, wanting an over abundance of whatever it is, is wrong. Like wanting to have a night nurse is not bad. That’s not wrong. That is bougie level confidence right there. Wanting to have someone come help support you with your children. That’s bougie level confidence. I want to be able to walk into a room with a Gucci bag and Louboutin heels on and people not be like “that’s too much. like that’s who she thinks she is.”
When I was growing up.. I remember when I first subconsciously picked up this mindset that I was too much and that I was bougie and I was like better than other people even though that’s so far from the truth, and this really stuck in my brain and body. But I’m really just now being able to see that and be like, “why did people put that on me?”
It was when I was in I think middle school at a cheer camp. And I had the extra bag and the nice stuff or whatever and I was the girl who was going above and beyond. And the coaches called my stunt group up to show all the other teams that were there how to perform this one stunt. And I heard from the crowd, a group of girls say “oh, she thinks she’s all that. Who does she think she is?”
And I internalized that as I am too much. I need to bring it down. I need to not be over the top. I need to not be more than enough. I need to just be middle ground in order to be liked. I’m done with that. I want to be able to be bold and loud and over the top in my self and that be okay, right? And that is having what I’m calling bougie level confidence. When you’re okay with being bougie, you are okay with being a little bit over the top, you are okay with being a little bit too much, a little bit more than most people can handle, and you accept it.
I am coming in that is all. Period. I want more women to hone in on that bougie level of confidence and just really make that a part of who they are. Just be like yes, I’m a little bit bougie but that’s me. And if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you don’t like that I am getting a night nurse to come watch my baby at night so I can sleep. That is bougie level confidence to just be like this is who I am. You either are going to take it and if you don’t want to take it then you can step out, I don’t need you in my way but I’m coming for you.
I want more women to be able to have a life of luxury, a life of abundance, a life of more than enough, and not feel bad about it. Not feel bad about all the extra amazing, awesome things that they’re doing. Why can we not clap for other women who have the ability to live a more than enough life? Why are we not cheering for other women who are living these big, bold, beautiful lives, who are going out there and having more than enough and are accepting that and wearing it with pride and confidence.
I’m not saying that buying properties or having the money or whatever is gonna make your life big and beautiful. But if you have a life of abundance, you should not have to hide it. You should not have to suppress your accomplishments. You should not have to suppress the awesome things that you’re doing, whether that is financially or otherwise, right. If you get a promotion at your job, you should not have to suppress that thinking that other people are going to be like “Oh, who does she think she is? That promotion” Or if you have this awesome thing that you’re doing, you should not like have to hide it or feel bad about it because other people can’t accept your bougie level confidence.
I want more women to rise up with some bougie level of confidence. I want more women to live like that. I want more women to be like
I want more women to bring other women up there with them. Instead of women staying below and trying to like tear other women down. Let’s all be over the top. Let’s all be above average. Let’s all have all the extra-ness and it’s not a bad thing. And whenever we wear that with confidence and we’re like, Yes, this is how I am and you can have it too. Yes, this is how I am and you can be there too. Right?
That is how we bring more women up with the Bougie level confidence right? And that is how we change that whole environment and mindset. So I hope you guys are in with me and rocking that bougie level confidence with pride and live in that life of “I am the best. This is me. I am amazing. You’re gonna love it. And if you don’t love it, get out of my way.”
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