Are you still trying to grow your business by “building relationships” a.k.a. sending random people messages hoping to make them feel like you want to be their friend and care about them? If so, I’m willing to bet it doesn’t feel very good to you and you’re probably not seeing great results either.

Building Relationships worked 5 years ago. But it is no longer an effective strategy for building your business

“Building relationships is what will make people trust you” “Building relationships is what will make them buy from you.” 

To be honest, that is SO 2017. That might have worked before but it doesn’t work anymore. Why? It’s 2022, everyone and I mean everyone is selling something on social media. If all of these people still built relationships like they did 5 years ago, our inboxes would be overloaded with “relationship building” messages.

Building relationships is very inauthentic. It makes you feel like a fraud because you know at the end of the day you’re just trying to get a sale out of them. And people KNOW that already. 5 years ago, it was the norm to reach out to old friends, colleagues, making small talk, catching up, and then pitching you product. It worked then because it didn’t happen very often. But TODAY, people’s guards are UP. If you did that someone today, they know what you’re up to. They know that your end goal is not to be their friend, but to simply make them buy your product.

Raise your hand if the red flags are up immediately when you get a message from a random stranger. I know mine are! When I get a message from a random person, the first thing I do is go to their profile to check what they’re selling. We all know people don’t just slide into your DM’s for no reason. It doesn’t work anymore. It’s a waste of your time. It makes you feel icky and awkward. So what should we do now?!

Create captivating content that’s going to bring people to you.

This is what we should be doing instead of trying to make those “authentic” inauthentic relationships. You don’t have to go out and make “relationships” with random strangers when you have captivating content. This will attract them to your space. Once they’re in your space and start expressing their interest, you can start the connection from there with the intention of selling something to them. It won’t feel icky and awkward, you know why? Because they already know you’re selling something.

Your job should be creating captivating content, building a brand that’s going to bring people in to you. That’s going to get people wanting to be in your space. They will be the one who shows interest first – through likes, comments, engaging with you in social media. –

When a person shows up in your feed and they’re engaging with you on a regular basis, that’s them knocking on your door.

Barging into someone’s DM’s without an invite is like barging into their home, unsolicited. 

They will feel weird, you will feel weird, it’s just SO awkward for everyone! Building a relationship by busting into someone’s house will always feel uncomfortable.

Your goal in this business is to make connections with people, not relationships. 

The relationships are built after the connection is made. They don’t need to know your life story, they don’t need to know all of the fluff. If you’re creating content that makes people feel connected to you, gives them value for free, they’re going to know, connect, and trust you. If those 3 things are working together, they will work with you, no questions asked.

The fluff is so 2017. People want to get straight to the point.

But the thing is, they don’t want to get straight to the point and feel like they’re being pushed into it. They want it to be on their terms. Suddenly barging into their DM’s and just flat-out telling them what you’re selling isn’t the vibe either. The vibe is creating appealing content that will make them feel connected to you. Make them feel like they know you by sharing who you truly are. You’re sharing your vibe, the good and bad parts, sharing even the vulnerable parts of your life. The trust comes when they see you get vulnerable too. That you have good and bad days too.

The know, connect, and trust factors are the new “building relationships”

And these 3 things happen first through your content. THIS is the vibe of 2022. Getting people to feel your energy and them making the decision that they want to BE in YOUR space. They want to be in YOUR world. They want YOU. Don’t even worry about those who don’t like you. You’re not trying to appeal to everyone, you’re trying to make connections with people. It’s not about being liked, being liked doesn’t get you anything. I follow a lot of people that I like but doest that mean I’ll buy something from them? No, because I don’t have a connection with them. I don’t feel like they can offer me something that I can benefit from.

The connection comes when a person feels like they’re going to get something out of being in your world. You have to have something that’s going to make them feel like it’s worth it. THIS is where you should be focused on.

The more fun you have, the more money you make.

If you’re not having fun in your business because you’re doing things that make you feel awful, you’re probably not making much anyway. Have so much fun in your business that you don’t even think about the money anymore. And because you’re having so much fun, the money just comes pouring in. One day, you’ll just look up and be like WOW, that’s A LOT of money in my bank account. THAT only happens when the activities you do for your biz feels good to you.

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