This is my interview by Melodie Bishop of the Abundant MomLife for Network Marketers Show on all things confidence, imposter syndrome and how to really succeed in network marketing!
The turnover in network marketing comes from a few reasons.
Getting into it because of the shiny objects – the promises of income, wealth, trips, big pay-checks, cars etc. and of course people think “wow that’s so cool”, right? So they get into it and try but they don’t end up getting the same results. So they’re like, “well forget this! This isn’t what I signed up for!” They signed up for the pay-checks, the trips, the income because that’s what a lot of people in network marketing showcase. So when they don’t get those things, it’s so easy for them to tap out and be like “oh well, didn’t work for me. Peace out!” They don’t really lose anything because the buy-in to get started is so low. It’s not like you open up a store in a mall that’ll cost you thousands of dollars. It’ll only be a couple hundred dollars at most.
It’s very easy for women to get into this and have their confidence shifted. Women dominate the network marketing space. When you’re surrounded by these women showing up and having all these shiny things, you get affected. Even women who aren’t in network marketing get affected by social media. When you see others’ highlight reels, you start to compare. You see what they have, how they look, what their lives are and you start to doubt yourself. Am I really cut out for this? Am I pretty enough? Am I popular enough? Will this ever work for me? So their confidence start to deteriorate and they get that imposter syndrome. They start to question their worth and their values and it just stirs up a lot of negativity within themselves. So they end up pulling out because they no longer feel good about themselves. It’s hard to show up online and share yourself when you aren’t feeling good inside.
Everyone struggles with confidence in different ways, at different points.
A lot of times we think “oh once I get here, then I’ll feel so much more confident and I’ll be able to do this and that” but really once you get there it’s like “oh man, now i have to do these things?!” Tiffany who signed up for network marketing who had zero people on her team is totally different from the Tiffany that has now a team of 3,500 women. I had to step in to new levels of confidence as I grew on my journey.
When you rely on what society determines as confident, worthy, successful, valuable, right, wrong… If that’s what you’re using as your measuring stick, you’re never going to measure up. You’re always going to fall short, always lacking in some area, in some way. THAT is going to keep you from feeling confident.
But when you use who God says you are as a measuring stick, and you let that be your rule for how confident you’re going to be, then there really is no limit. When you look at what society says is success, then it’s like “oh the big paycheck is success.” The title, the top of the company, the top 1% etc.
I see it time and time again, women getting to the top of their companies and still feeling crappy about themselves. Still feeling inferior, invaluable, unworthy… It’s because that isn’t the measuring stick.
When you allow God to show you who you are, it allows you to show up in a new level of confidence. It just lets you shine from the inside out – it’s like being a lighthouse. Being that bright light in the middle of the ocean that helps lost ships find their way. I think of myself as that person who gets to shine my light and doesn’t need anyone else’s approval to tell me if I’m good or worthy enough to be able to show up the way I am. When you use that then you do get to do things in the right way. Now, you’re not just showing up to sign up that next person, to help you get that next bonus, to find that next customer who’s going to make you more money; you’re doing it because you want to help others. Think of it this way:
If we can show up like that, how much more powerful will this industry become when all of us are showing up for these reasons? And showing up confidently because we know it’s not about who we are, but about whose we are. We’ll be able to do this in a whole different level and help more people and make a much bigger impact. The crazy thing is, when you’re doing it that way, the other things are going to come naturally. The pay-check, the rank advance, the titles – these are just a bi-product when you’re shining your light with confidence. When you’re standing up tall and strong like that lighthouse that you are, attracting those lost ships to you to help bring them out of the darkness and into the light, showing them how they can be a lighthouse too. THAT is how you create a real impact in this industry, I think that’s the key to shift how the things are done in network marketing.
I try to have 3 different pillars in life: work-life immersion, work, and life
I have moments where my kids are a part of me working. I bring them with me to my business. If I’m recording videos or reels, I let them do it with me. I’ve been doing this for a long time since my girl was 4 and she had no idea what was going on. And now that she’s getting older, she’s getting to the point where she now understands that this is mommy’s work. It’s really awesome because she’s been a part of it since day 1 and now that she’s starting to understand, I feel like I’m setting this example for her. How you don’t have to choose if you’re going to be really successful in your work life or a great mom. That you can be and have both, there doesn’t have to be a separation and you can do well with both together.
That’s really important to me but there are still moments when I need to put on my boss hat, drop them off for a moment and be able to WORK. I also need days of focus and time for my business.
On the other side, I also have days where I completely shut down business mode and just be a mom. I’m only mom for them, not on my phone, not checking messages, giving them my full undivided attention. So they know that not only do I work, but I’m also their mommy and I also get to do things with them, be that person who will show up and be present for them.
These 3 pillars have been vital and it’s created abundance in all areas. It makes me feel like I’m being successful in all areas of my life, not just one or the other. I think it’s really easy to get to that point where you’re working too much or being with your kids and haven’t worked at all. It gives me that harmony in life and business.
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